So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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