dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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