I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
