You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I will die if light touches me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
