i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
