He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
