Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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