this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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