So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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