Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
