Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There r osticjed everywhere
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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