oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
