guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize