One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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