Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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