I love black thongs
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
