That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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