How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
