I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
