ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Boobs speak an international language.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
