im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
