So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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