weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize