You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
