I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
