Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
