She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
