It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Randomize
