He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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