I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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