She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
