As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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