I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I touched a dick in church today
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
