I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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