I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
