Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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