Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
