I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
