Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize