I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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