All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
