I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I want a musical about memes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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