You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
