so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
