remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize