Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
