The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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