Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
