Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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