Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Come see our sink grown plant.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
