I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
