This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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