all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
