Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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