Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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