Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
