the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
