whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
